Having A Good Wedding And Then A Good Marriage

Alright yall, so here is what has been going on this week- Midterms. And studying for midterms, and hearing about midterms, and worrying about midterms, and trying to figure out how I am already at midterms...... it is pretty intense. BUT! In the midst of all that, I have learned this week in my class, about weddings and marriage. Now- I just want to disclaimer that there is NO WAY I claim to be an expert on the subject- but I did learn a few things. And this week I want to talk about two different topics: your wedding, and the beginnings of your marriage (as in, within the first year).

So First thing is first- WEDDINGS!!! I love them. I don't know about y'all but I definitely watch all those shows- Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings, Bridezillas, the whole lot- and I wanted to be a wedding planner for a long time! (fun fact for everyone- don't watch Bridezillas if you want to be a wedding planner- just warning you now). With all of those shows, you see the couple (most of the time, the bride) planning everything- how it looks, who is there, the food, music, all of it- and did you know that the average wedding in the U.S. averages to about $20, 000? And I am being reserved with that number- isnt it crazy? When people get married, they are making a public announcement that they are ready to solidify the bond between the two of them, so while you may have the wedding of your dreams- what is that going to cost you as a couple?

Well, there are a few factors that go into the wedding. Lets talk about one I already touched on- financial obligations. Unless one of yall are personally in the 1% of the population who can afford a wedding like that on your own, you and your significant other are going to have to figure out where that money is going to come from. Most of the time, the bride chooses to rely on her family to help her with the financial brunt of the wedding, while the groom and his family, pitches in a little bit here and there. What does that do for the couple and their relationship together? It forces a small subconscious wedge between the couple, and reinforces the relationship between the bride and her family, and the groom and his family- which later on in life could cause a riff between the couple because the families of the couple might start to work their way into the couple's life when they have an argument or anything of that nature- and that is only one example of how having an expensive wedding could hinder the relationship between the couple.

Another factor that goes into a wedding is the guest list- how many guests you will have, who will be invited, who will be part of the bridal party, who will be staying where for lodging, and then that leads to what kind of food will be served, the type of music that will be played, and things of that nature- all of which need to be decided by both the bride and the groom. With that it will allow the couple to learn, before they are married how to do a lot of things: compromise, work through disagreements, learn how to mesh their lives together, etc. And if the bride chooses to have her family as her main source of advice, or the groom doesn't become an active participant, it will reinforce the idea and habit to turn to your family instead of your significant other for making difficult or uncomfortable decisions- and that can cause riffs between the couple as well.

So those are just two examples of how having a big expensive wedding can hinder more than help your marriage. And usually it is the beginnings of problems couples have in the first year of their marriage. Not many people think of the consequences of that choice.

As for the first year of marriage, everyone says that it is the hardest year. And what a lot of people don't know- is that the first year of marriage will actually give you an idea of that the rest of your marriage will look like, That is not to say that if you have a huge fight or large trial that it will ALWAYS be like that- but it does give you an idea of how you two will get through that trial, how you handle the habits and pet peeves of one another, and how you act when hard times come for yall. So you want to start off the rest of your life together on a good foot.

Some tips to do that? Dont be afraid to ask your family to pitch in for the wedding, if you have a photographer, or someone that owns nice speakers, or has a big backyard, or even make your wedding a potluck- when you ask everyone to help- they are more wiling to participate n the wedding because they feel like they will play part of an important role in your wedding. Have an outdoor wedding if weather permits- it saves you having to pay for a venue. Also, home make everything you can, so that way you can save money when buying decor or giving away favors, things of that nature.

Good luck out there to everyone who has a big day coming up! I want you to know that, if you put your mind to it- you really can accomplish anything, including puling off an amazing wedding, and starting your marriage off right, for the right price for you and your family- both present and future. I know that while I am waiting for the right guy to come a long, I will definitely be planning and saving now, so that one day, I can find summer with my own happily ever after!