Divorce and its Impacts

Ok you guys, so today is my last blog for school. After this it will be much more of a blog about my life and the things that go on it and the lessons I learned. Also this post is going to be a little short for a few reasons, but please bare with me as we talk about something that is becoming more and more common in society today, and how we can either cope or overcome these issues.

So first thing I learned this week is that there is a statistic out there in the marriage world that is not as accurate as we would be lead to believe, and that is: 50% of marriages end in divorce. This statistic is actually a little less than 50/50 right now. This statistic is based off of two different measurements in society that social scientists take so they can get a better gauge on the movement of society, however for the ease of people to remember, the world just rounded the statistic up to 50/50. On the other hand, there is a part of the statistic that is accurate, and it is that you do have a much higher chance of divorce in the US than any other western country.

You know what is an interesting fact, that not a lot of people know? Most marriages can be fixed within 5 years, when they come in to counseling for a failed marriage. However, most people wont even go in for counseling, let alone have the stamina to last the five years to fix it. Society today has told us that we can divorce for reasons as simple as not being interested in one another anymore. Something that is commonly termed an "amicable divorce". Even as recent as the early 90s, it used to be a matter of state that people couldn't be divorced without state approval, and their criteria was wither abuse or infidelity. Now however, the government has made it a more personal affair and people can get divorced for almost any reason. With this shift in government standards, came a shift is social mentality, and now divorce is more common than ever in history. For the rest of this blog, I am going to go off of the basis that there is a serious issue in the marriage that causes them to need a divorce, as I am not a supporter of marriages that end for things that, I deem, are trivial.

There are multiple steps one has to go through in order to recognize when divorce is an actual option. those steps are: recognition, discussion, action, postdissolution. To start, the couple needs to realize that there is a problem in the relationship- on that cannot be fixed like infidelity. Afterwards there needs to be a discussion about it: when it will happen, who will get what, why it is happening. Then there is the actual action of the divorce, going to court, hiring lawyers and signing paperwork. Finally it is the postdissolution, which is the aftermath of the divorce, and figuring out how to live a different lifestyle. Usually it isn't just one another that can cause divorce but also economic, social, religious, racial, or other problems that can cause/trigger a divorce also. As for the aftermath, everyone always wonders what type of effects a divorce will have if there are kids involved, and more often than not, there are signs of intense anger, self-blame, fear of the future, they can suffer from more physical and emotional health problems, have lower self-esteem, less active with friends and family, and many more.

All of this that i have learned, I share with you because I think it is important that we know what happens in, not just our lives, but the lives of others around us when the decision of divorce is made. I also hope it has given some of yall some hope to see that it ISNT as common as we think, that there CAN be resolution that doesn't involve divorce if you are willing to work through it, and most importantly, that divorce isn't the easy way out: that decision affects everyone around. And for those of you that do need to divorce, I hope this kind of helps you to see what will take place and prepare you for i just a little bit. Whatever the dicision you make- I know that it is really hard sometimes to try and see the bright side in an otherwise gloomy situation, but if you try to find the summer in the situation, I know that you will be able to see some good things come to pas out of it.